"Risk is Walking Away from Something that doesn't support you"

Earlier in the day, prior to meeting up with Alexia, I was at a group meeting in which a woman said “risk is walking away from something that doesn't support you...” It made a big impact on me and I wrote it down to remember. As I met Alexia a bit later, she went on to speak rhapsodical about books and how she holds a sacred spot for them. Up until now, she has held onto all of her books because they are a talisman of sorts for her, a powerful presence in her life that she puts great stock and reverence in. But I sense that she now feels that she is more powerful than her books – she is diving deep into her soul and she is only willing to surround herself with those that continue to lift her up in a way that she wants to BE. She is ready to purge those books that don't hold service anymore – those that are tied to darkness in her life without light, she is ready to purge those which hold her back, those that don't feel good or have good memories in order to make more room for those that do. For the last 9-10 years books have been the one thing in her life that is consistent, when she is sad she buys books and when she is happy and energized, she buys books. She reads and holds onto books for the magic that inspires her to be the person she wants to be and also those that allow her to be greater, to reach, to learn, to do more. For the first time she is “willing to......... really willing to...... move on from the past and purge all the books that make me feel less than who I know that I am”. This statement was difficult for Alexia to speak and I see the risk she takes, because of course it's not just about books, but opening up space in her life for all things that support her.

When I sat with Alexia, who has been a friend for a while now, I kept getting this image of a snake shedding it's skin and showing it's beautiful, soft and shiny new skin emerging. Alexia is one of the smartest people I know, she is obviously book smart, but she is also a great thinker. I love watching her when you ask her a question because she gazes off into the distance and gives great thought to the matter before responding. I'm not exactly sure what is going on in her brain during that time, but I imagine a great swirling of colorful thoughts that she is weighing and counting each one very carefully prior to speaking. I get the sense that, in the past, Alexia has felt the need to cover up her big beautiful mind, hide it behind a huge gorgeous smile and a bubbly personality and that she is finally ready to emerge and merge the two – her interior and her exterior. Because that is what the world needs – not hiding behind a protective barrier of old skin but being vulnerable and sharing the shiniest, softest side of ourselves, purging that that doesn't support us and trusting, and opening up, to the new support that is waiting.

Jessica McClure