Why Tracking Your Wins Isn’t Arrogant. It’s Necessary
Many of us have been told not to brag.
Be humble.
Don’t be an asshole.
Don’t be TOO proud.
Don’t make others feel bad about themselves…
Not you? Good for you.
That was definitely me. I was raised to be of service. As the youngest of 5 kids, from a social family, we were taught how to host.
To this day, if you put us five siblings in a room - we know how to WORK that room. How to be curious, make you feel comfortable and like you are the most interesting person there.
But we also learn to do it at the expense of ourselves.
To shape-shift. To serve. To make others shine, while quietly minimizing what we bring to the table.
How many of you are brilliant at advocating for your team members, your clients, or your friends? Making sure they get the spotlight or the recognition?
But when it comes to advocating for yourself - naming your value, your wins, or even raising your rates? No way.
And then what happens when your boss doesn’t do that for you? Or you are so good at your role, it’s easier to keep you right where you are at?
Perhaps you have your own business, but are afraid to charge what your worth or promote yourself.
That is where advocating for yourself comes into play, or in other words, creating your own brag document.
The Brag Document isn’t just for other people.
But it’s not just for you either. It’s a mirror, a map, and a message.
To yourself. To your community. And to whoever needs to know what you're really capable of - including yourself.
In the journey of self-development and building a business - it’s important to realize what you do well, to slow down and appreciate the wins the celebrations. To remember the good as well as the bad.
I once read about a public speaker who said the best place to practice is in Germany, where audiences are notoriously stoic. No smiles, no head nods.
You have to trust yourself. Trust your message. And trust that your voice matters, whether or not you get the reaction you want.
And in order to be of service to others, you have to know what you do well.
Hence the Brag Document or Coaching with Self.
Your personal repository of accomplishments, big and small. Of what worked and what didn’t. How you can pivot and what you want to try next.
Some might call this journaling. Others might call it reflection. I call it “coaching with self.”
It’s the practice I give to all my 1:1 clients when our engagement ends, because growth doesn’t stop when the coaching does.
I have them create time on their calendar at least once a month, where it says “coaching with self”. Where they journal or think on the questions they might bring to a coaching session and to unpack on their own.
Here’s a list of questions that I share with them - and ask them to add their own questions that are pertinent to them:
What would I bring to the table if I was heading into a coaching session?
What is another way to look at this problem? Perspective, look from their pov, what’s the worst that could happen, the best that could happen.
Where am I blocked?
Is there anyone I could ask help from?
What am I doing well?
Review goals for self over the past month, what did I accomplish? What didn’t I?
What would you like to accomplish in the next month?
What else would I like to ask myself?
For those of you who are tech savvy, you can even toss these into AI and get real-time prompting or perspective to keep your thinking fresh.
This is a great way to take stock of where you are and where you are going.
I’ve also created a digital file that you can download, almost like a check list.
Or you could journal or just create a notebook where you write things down old school in list form.
Create a folder where you hold all of your testimonials, postive reviews or feedback; a place to come back to when you start feeling lost or doubting your impact.
It's a space where you can document your victories, commendations, positive feedback from colleagues or clients, successful projects, and any other moments of triumph and alternatively normalizing opportunities for growth.
It’s also a way to anchor into the facts.
Our brains will always scan for what’s missing or what could go wrong, because they are wired for survival. So unless you intentionally track what’s working, you’ll lose sight of your actual progress.
As entrepreneurs it’s hard to take time off, from our brain and from the work.
There will always be something else you COULD do. So it’s gaining true clarity on what you should, and shouldn’t, be doing.
This allows you to be your best advocate. To remember that your successes deserve to be acknowledged and celebrated and if you don’t share what you are working on and the impact, there is a good chance that others aren’t going to see below the surface of a smooth running team/role.
Creating a Consistent Structure to:
Track your impact, what projects make a big impact, which are necessary, which aren’t.
Manage up: Share with leaders what you are working on -- they can’t remember all that you did, and honestly, neither can you. Oftentimes our managers know what they have to help us with or unblock for us -- what are you doing daily that they have no insight into?
Career Development -- notice patterns of what work you like working on and what you don’t.
What you are doing vs what you should be delegating -- what do you say YES and what do you say NO to.
Hone your communication style -- in trusted delivery to peer or manager, ask them to notice how you come across. Are you too arrogant? too passive? What is the sweet spot of confidence and clarity practice your verbal and written communication
Reliable resource come promotion and yearly self-review.
When discussing and/or ”coaching” with a peer, they can help you see points you might have missed or impact that you have discounted or over-inflated.
Creates community and accountability - Pair up with a partner to share your progress, your goals, your growth. Let someone reflect your impact back to you when you can’t quite see it.
Carve space for yourself on a regular basis - weekly or monthly, to fill out - either by self, with team, or with a partner.
Celebrate wins, mourn losses together!
Want a copy of the brag document? Fill out the below form.