How to Fight Through the Fear
This might be more difficult than I thought and it’s only day 2.
I committed to writing at least 30 minutes for the next 30 days. The hope is that it will spark my creativity and flow with writing.
And what keeps coming up for me today is another quote from Anais Nin -- and maybe this 30 day challenge will turn into 30 quotes from Anais Nin and my musings of, who knows it will be what it will be -- but the quote is: “If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don’t write, because our culture has no use for it.”
That’s a pretty big challenge and setting the scene for some pretty big saboteurs to attack.
Saboteurs are those fears that we all have. The ones that say we aren’t enough. For me it's the worry that people will think I am stupid, or a bad writer, or too full of myself that I expect people to read this, or any of those other too’s that there are plenty of.
When I have a great idea, the saboteurs are the ones that tell me to be realistic - that I don’t have the money, time, brains, etc.
When I write my to-do list at night I feel confident and ready to tackle the world. But when the sun comes up and is high in the sky? The saboteurs are the ones who tell me “not today… tomorrow. You’ll do it tomorrow. You'll be better then”.
Saboteurs come in many shapes, sizes and voices. They come in during my meditation, conversations with best friends, while exercising, writing a proposal, having sex, at church, while sitting on the couch… it’s a constant stream of voices.
There is no shortage of those saboteurs are there?
But I have figured out how to deal with mine. At least kinda sorta.
I name them. I acknowledge them. I say “Thank you very much, Fear - I hear that you are afraid for me but I’ve got this.” Other times, I say “Hi Fear, I see you today. You’re feeling black and heavy and making my stomach turn. But I'm going to have to do this anyways.”
There are other tools you can use to get moving past fear.
Lots of people like Mel Robbins and her 5-second rule http://melrobbins.com/the-5-second-rule/, that basically tells you that when you want to procrastinate or hit snooze or not do something, give yourself a backward countdown 5-4-3-2- and on 1 you shoot like a rocket ship and do the very thing you didn’t want to do.
Though my personal favorite is “Get up, Trinity. Get. Up.” Makes me feel like a badass (If you don’t know what I’m talking about then you have to go watch the Matrix right now) and gets me past the fear - real or imagined.
And what I have noticed, is once you start talking to your fear, or really just doing the action even though the fear is there, it dissipates a little bit. And then the next time it doesn’t feel quite so scary or hard - once I hit send, or sit down to talk to that stranger in a coffee shop, or relax into what will be will be, they get a little quieter.
Because the thing to remember is no one really cares what you are doing right now. Really. No one cares. Because they are too worried about their own fears.
Haven’t you ever noticed when a friend tells you something they want to do, and you're like “Do it! Yes!!! That's exactly what you should do!” And then they tell you all the reasons that they can't and it seems so crazy because you can see that they are perfect for that task? Yep. That's you too.
And honestly, if someone does care, or thinks judgmentally about you, I guarantee you they are just as judgemental about themselves and only wish they could do the very thing that you are doing right now. And then promise me you'll go surround yourself with people who actually believe in you.
So now when you are fearful about doing something say to yourself “Get up, Trinity. Get. Up” and then do it. You might just surprise yourself.